about me

my name is jasmine..... not jaz-min but yas-meen. i am 17 and i am half arab and half white. my parents divorced when i was 6 and i dont remember much. after the divorce i never talked to my dad and i never saw a picture of him until i was 14.... being that i was so little when i saw him last i dont remeber how he looks at all. when i was 14 i went to find some christmas decorations and found an old photo album.... it was my parents wedding photos. i saw my dad. he was arab looking, meaning he had jet black curly hair, a big smile, dark skin, huge dark eyes. they had a traditional american wedding. that was all i knew from the beginning and i saw that it was true. i went and i told my mom what i had found and then she looked at me as though i had just hit her when i showed her the album. when i asked why he looked arab she looked so afraid and then she looked away from me and walked out of the house. when she came back and saw me she stared at me for a long time and said these words which i will never forget, " jasmine, i have tried to forget it and i have tried to deny that you could ever be all that he is, but every time i look at you all i see is........ an arab. jasmine.... (she starts to cry) your father is arab. he is lebanese and hebrew (my grandfather was 100% lebanese and my grandmother was 50% hebrew and 50% lebanese). your last name would have neen batroney." from that day on my mother has never looked or spoken to me the same. my family found out that i had found out who i was and then the racist remarks began. they poked fun at my black hair compared to their blonde, light brown, and red hair and my slightly 2 shades darker skin that never burns in the sun to their white skin that is red in the summer. but now they started to say and do more and treat me different...... a bad different. so i began to look into my race to find out what they found to be so bad about me. everything i found fasinated me. it was beautiful. it was different from growing up in a levi jean, white skinned, blonde, christian, all american dream life. it was interesting and beautiful. now i am 17 and now 3 1/2 years have passed sinse then. i am almost 18. i am now no longer curious to who i am because i now know. now i dont have to question why i have perfect eye brows that never need to be pucked, why my skin is 2 shades darker than my family's, why my hair is black and frizzy/curly and everyone elses is light and pretty, why i have the face of an arab..... i am half arab.